This is It?

You know how when you are growing up you have all these big ideas of what the grown up world will be like and how you will do things like accompany your husband to company dinners and prepare nutritious meals for your kid and plant things in your yard? I often thought about these things when the conversation at the school lunch table was dull or crude or inane. "I can't wait to be around intelligent people when I grow up!" I would console myself.

Well the other night I did a grown up thing. I accompanied my husband to his company dinner. And the conversation was dull, crude and inane. Only this time I had nothing with which to console myself, no future times of witty banter to look forward to because this is the grown up world! There is no other level to graduate to! I am stuck in it, and it sucks.

How disappointing to find out that teenaged guys who talk about bathroom humor and pranks involving toilet seats evolve not into calm, charismatic, conversationalists, but into crude, clownish middle aged men who talk about bathroom humor and pranks involving toilet seats. Oh, the disappointment. Oh, the humanity!

And while I do occasionally feed my son tofu, I have never, not once planted something in my yard. Oh, woeful time.